Miguel's Bachelor Party - Day 14 - Hong Kong

Our return to Hong Kong served two purposes. Pick up the custom suits we were fitted for and catch that return flight back to the states. Luckily, we only had a couple of adjustments that they managed to do within 2 hours prior to our need to depart. This gave us time to find a coffee shop, sit down, and reflect on our trip. We made it through barely unscathed. Well, some of us almost received second degree burns, major bruises on the leg (Not my story to tell), and at some point in time we all received mental scarring.

I would say I am sad for the departure, but I welcome the thought of a repeat trip too much to feel remorse for the return home.

Our time has come to a close, but not without the greatest appreciation for the experience and the deepest gratitude to Miguel for his guidance through the intricate mazes of the shopping markets, city streets, and playing tour guide. We owe you, buddy.

Miguel's Bachelor Party - Day 13 - Phuket

This day is not recognized as much as our last day in Thailand, as much as it is the last chance. The last chance to sit on the beach with crystal clear waters. The last chance to make bets on whether that Thai dancer is a boy or a girl. The last chance to escape reality for this particular trip.

Our desire to sit on the beach wasn't met with so much vigor as the first day, but it was greeted like an old friend. We gained more respect for the sun and camped under the protection of the umbrellas, while a Thai kid frequently stopped by to adjust the umbrella as if he was playing chess with the sun and the life or death of shade was the ultimate goal of the game.

As much as we were prepared to take in the full consequences for being present in Phuket for the full moon party, we quickly learned that the placid and eerily calm energy on that Saturday night was due to the mass exodus to an island to enjoy the official location for the full moon party. Goliath played second fiddle to David that night and we had a relaxing, yet fun last night in Phuket. The night was topped off with a couple of kebabs from the Turkish stand, eaten as if the cook was a Top Chef contender and we were weakened judges to his cooking prowess. I literally just ate lunch and I want one now.

Kop Koon Krup, Phuket.
Kop Koon Krup, Phi Phi.
Kop Koon Krup, Bangkok.

It is memorable.

Full Album of Phuket

Miguel's Bachelor Party - Day 12 - Phi Phi/Phuket

Miguel is up and out the door shortly after Bobby and I get back to the room for his one chance to scuba. We all agree to meet at the dock for our 2pm ferry back to Phuket as a sign that the trip is winding down. Our time was a lot of fun on Phi Phi and Bobby and I chose to honor it with one last meal sitting in a restaurant overlooking the bay as we took our time to munch on spring rolls and sandwiches.

We said our fairwells to the party that never stops, so we could go to the other party that never stops on Phuket. We have two more nights in Thailand, the full moon party is happening the second night and what Bobby said on Phi Phi keeps crawling up to the front of my mind. "When are you ever going to do this again?" Not that I needed to be reminded, but motivation is a trigger for me.

On our second to last night, we were focused and driven to do exactly what we knew we wanted to do based on being focused and driven to do exactly what we wanted to do based on...just kidding.

As we scoured the rest of Phuket for any last minute gift buying, we started to head back to freshen up for the evening and we walked past a Turkish kebab stand situated in the lobby of a hotel that attracted the senses more than the Ping Pong Show. That's saying something. The smell of the meat rotating and sizzling stopped me in my tracks and I said to the guys, "We are coming here tonight after the bars."

We made good on my promise and for that, we were not let down. One of the best kebabs I've had to date. I was even dreaming of finding a way to work a business deal out with the guy to patent his technique to be introduced to the states (I was drunk) for mass distribution on a similar scale of the food trucks. Amazing flavor, such that, if I were to go back to Phuket, I would make a stop, or two, at that place every day.

As usual, on our return home, the show never stopped along the main street. Sometimes, the real show, are not the Thai girls, but the passerbys.

Full Album of Phi Phi Island
Full Album of Phuket

Miguel's Bachelor Party - Day 11 - Phi Phi Island

Our final day on Phi Phi was not going to be outdone by any other day, purely for the fact that it was Saint Patrick's Day. That's right, we were on a remote island off the coast of Thailand and the Irish bar was tacking down green runner outside on the walkway with streams of green, orange, and white balloons. Where are we again? No matter, because Bobby made it clear as we passed the Irish pub each time, "we are going here tonight." This was the trip where Bobby said jump and we said, how high.

Before the evening's festivities commenced, we decided to torture ourselves with a hike in the hot, sticky 95 degree weather to the top of the island for a spectacular view. I imagine when the first settlers made the inaugural climb, they were beside themselves with the possibilities of inhabiting this island and dying happy.

There are two view points. As you sit down to enjoy the first view point and your achievement for climbing the daunting stairs to get there, you smile upon your reward of just a panorama meant for those lucky enough to make the trek. Remember the first time you got an LCD or Plasma TV? It was remarkable. You were proud of your cutting edge technology, or for some, it had been bleeding for some time, but nevertheless it was new to you.

Ignorance is bliss until you take on the task of climbing to view point two. The reward is well worth it and that first generation LCD/Plasma TV no longer holds value in your heart. You are now at the pinnacle of all that can be seen on this island. The magnificent panorama provokes you to explore the entire offerings of the island.

Even better, we could see the beach and the Irish Pub that would be the ruin of us later that night.

Feeling proud that our alcohol soaked bodies appeared to be ultimately healthy under the pressure of 1 1/2 weeks of gallivanting around Asia, we made the trip back down to the preparations going on for that night. We immediately headed for a cabana on the beach fully equipped with a hammock and two Thai roll-out lounge mattresses that overlooked one of the bays.

As Miguel and Bobby took a stroll through 500 yards of shallow waters that gave the appearance they were walking on water, I tended to the remaining reading I had for my trip book while struggling with the need to nap. I didn't struggle long, allowing the slightest of breezes to force the book close as well as my eyelids.

Now that we took our preferred approaches to refreshing for the night, we made our way into town to begin the festivities. Like kids in a candy store, Bobby and I headed straight to the bar. One of the marketing points for the bars in Phuket and Phi Phi are buckets of alcohol. Instead of getting your mixed drink in a tumbler glass, it is served to you in a small bucket that is equivalent to a 40 oz beverage.

I tried to play chicken at first and started to hem and haw about drinking a bucket, but Bobby was Mr. Consistency and kindly said to me, "When will be the next time you are in Phi Phi on St. Patrick's Day and able to drink a bucket with your cousin?" Damn the logic he presented to me. With that, I went from not being sure to being all in and ordered the Liquid Death Bucket (Tequila, Thai Whiskey, triple sec, OJ, lime). It couldn't have been a better choice.

Fired up and ready to take on the beach clubs again, we found ourselves in front of a lighted double jump rope, inviting that inner-child to come out and play. None of us have ever done anything like double jump rope, but there is nothing more supportive than liquid courage. Miguel and Bobby spent turns giving it a try, which provided for some great comedy until some guy stumbled onto the dance floor in Godzilla fashion spewing fire from his mouth determined to do nothing but destroy the lighted ropes. He was 100% successful. So, that was the end of their run for the taste of the glory. However, the image is forever etched in my mind and on digital video. Can you say, YouTube, fast enough?

Miguel had his fun for the evening and returned home, so he could catch a little shut-eye before his early rise to scuba dive. Bobby and I looked at each other and said, bucket?

From there on, all I remember is hands in the air, over-crowded dance floors, songs being played more than twice (This means we were there way too long), and the bartender saying, "Sorry man, no more beers, we are closing."

Bobby and I closed out our night scarfing down Phi Phi's finest late night eats...a slice of pizza. Yes, I know, if they had Thai food vendors up at 3 in the morning, we would have stayed true to the cultural experience. Let me just say, you are not getting a Thai cultural experience on Phi Phi. Have you seen MTV Spring Break? I'm sure they have filmed from Phi Phi before.

Phi Phi was a blast and really should only be experienced in terms of a Las Vegas trip. Get out of there within 48 hours and you'll save yourself from doing a lot of explaining to the loved ones for the reckless behavior and potential jail time. However, the jail time wouldn't be horrible. The cells overlook the bay and the night stay would most likely be free before they kick you off the island. Back to Phi Phi, we go!

Full Album of Phi Phi Island

Miguel's Bachelor Party - Day 10 - Phi Phi Island

As to not tire from the same beach, we changed up the pace and took an hour boat ride to the island of Phi Phi. This small, compact island is surrounded by gorgeous beaches, warm and colorful waters. The clarity of the water is amazing and from a few miles out, the evidence of why tourists flock to this island cannot be contested.

As you walk into the intricate walkways, you quickly notice something missing. The sound of cars, motorcycles, and public transit are non-existent. It does not exist on this island. The police are the only ones with mopeds. The center of Phi Phi is jam-packed with stores inviting each tourist to take scuba lessons, boat rides to the neighboring islands, and sport fishing tours. While those that choose to take advantage of the picturesque conditions for water activities, others can take a lackadaisical approach to spending time on one of two major beaches.

The walkways are crowded with a mix of tourists and locals treating everyday like it is Sunday. The locals who may be in more of a rush use bicycles to get around, but this requires notifying all persons that they need to weave through the foot traffic. They do this so effectively with a simple, "bep-bep." There is no need to even buy a bell. If anything the noise distracts from the sound of the ocean echoing off the storefront walls. It's clear some of the locals are sick of dealing with the tourists on these narrow walkways, because we have seen a few incidents of a biker knocking shoulders with walkers and not saying anything as they continue on.

Miguel quickly lined up a long tail boat tour of some of the more famous spots off the island like Monkey Beach and coves where you can swim and snorkel surrounded by vertical rock and emerald colored water. These are the points in your life that you take notice, time has momentarily stopped. The serenity is only disrupted by another long tail boat hauling in tourist-trash that interrupts your calm to bring back memories of a collegiate time. Does it sound like I am reflecting a real moment while I was there? Not at all.

Monkey Beach is a show. There is no reason to put it any other way. People stand lined up on the beach beguiled by the shallow domestication of these monkeys that calmly take fruit out of your hand. Their human like movement almost begs the question whether or not they will say, "Why, thank you." Instead, they quickly remind you how savage they really are, when they start fighting for dominance amongst each other or with a flip of a switch they scowl at you and advance upon you.

Miguel's desire to eventually own a monkey got the better of his curiosity. His temptation lead him to tap a monkey on the back of the neck while it was turned away to devour the tasty morsel of fruit. Little to Miguel's surprise, yet still requiring defensive moves, the monkey turned around with death in its eyes. The monkey quickly dropped his piece of fruit with eyes ablaze and the only purpose in life was to scowl at Miguel and chase after him on its hind legs while it held out its hands as if it was going to grab him for a swift Muay-Thai kick to the gut. Miguel escaped narrowly and provided us great moments of laughter for the rest of the trip.

Our day was coming to a close and it was time to see what Phi Phi had to offer at night. Needless to say, it did not disappoint. The main area of the island caters to the bars and restaurants in "downtown" Phi Phi. There really is no downtown, but it gives you a frame of reference. The other side has a concentrated amount of beachfront bars and restaurants lined up with fire shows and temporary dance floors. As the fire shows close out the earlier part of the night, the dance floors become crowded with the young world travelers escaping from reality for at least a little while.

We successfully survived our first night on the island. As a gauge of what survival means, we went home after all stores and restaurants were closed, after the bars tired of us travelers, but before the roosters had a chance to welcome the day. That's a nice compromise.

Full Album of Phi Phi Island

Miguel's Bachelor Party - Day 9 - Phuket

The morning greeted us with a flush of memories of the night before enforcing us to take it easy this day. It was going to be more beach time, but with great care. Miguel and Bobby played chicken with the sun the day before and guess who won. Vampire-like instincts kicked in for Bobby as he dodged and weaved his way from shade to shade, as if the protection of trees and awnings knew his sorrow and made effort to extend their cover to him.

The day was meant to be tranquil, because the night is where we needed our energy the most. We had the city skirted out and knew which clubs and bars interested us the most. As we finished up the day, we started to head back to the hotel while it was finally dark out and Miguel noticed small candle-powered hot air balloons rising into the sky never to return. We ventured over to the beach as Miguel explained to us the significance of sending off one of these balloons is for wishes.

These paper mache balloons can carry away any wish you care to think of. Personally, I just wanted to see the dang thing fly.  Give me the heart balloon, I don't care, just entertain me for the $5 I paid.

We lit the hot-air balloons and watched them as they carried away over the ocean, past the last bit of land extending into the sea, and finally into the clouds, as if they were finally free from the boundaries of a cluttered world. The spontaneous moment, as pure as it was, was completed. Now it was time to explore Phuket in the night time and see if that wish was going to come to fruition that night.  I was thinking about the Turkish kebab stand.  I don't know what you are thinking!

Full Album of Phuket

Miguel's Bachelor Party - Day 8 - Phuket

Our time in Bangkok has come to a close and after so much effort running around in Hong Kong, Macau, and Bangkok, we were awarded with a trip to Phuket. The beach was inviting, but the breeze that lightly passes under the umbrella as you shift between napping and reading had more power of persuasion with me. Afterall, I've been living on the beach for the past four months in Samara, Costa Rica. How could I not relish the lateral luxury at my fingertips? What a blessing.

If you had a chance to read our last night in Bangkok, you now have a good feeling of what Soi Cowboy is about. How the small street has to placate to the types of entertainment needs that requires being reined in by down-at-the-heel areas of a city. Magnify that alleyway and you now have a city called, Phuket. However, in Phuket, adult entertainment is front and center of the city.

Bobby may have been coming alive in the night time, every night of the trip thus far, but he just met his match. This city sleeps during the day to catch a breath from the night's activities. Your mental preparedness is not ready for the likes of dozens of club promoters vying for your lucratively lined pockets. They entice you with shows of glamour as they humbly and affectionately call, the Ping Pong show.

Little did I know that the Ping Pong show is a sliver of your imagination. The Ping Pong show is a color wheel that is spun in front of you, making sure that your attention is not distracted due to boredom. Who wants to see a Ping Pong show for 20 minutes, when you can see 20 different things every 5 to 10 minutes.

The beers are normally priced as they would be in the States to supplement the entertainment that literally unfolds in front of your eyes. You contemplate with great curiosity the physical capabilities of these women as they perform their routines to either shock or awe. The muses spend their time performing dance routines that play with your imagination and provoke your curiosity, while the lesser of swans are corralled into the type of entertainment that strips away your curiosity for imagination.

Appalled?  Is it so wrong that two guys are touching another man's breasts? You be the judge.

One may see the full spectrum in Phuket, whether they enjoy it or not. It's a day in the life of this city and those that keep its livelihood afloat.

Full Album of Phuket

Miguel's Bachelor Party - Day 7 - Bangkok

I have finally become accustomed to two things: The time change and my body running on alcohol. I am now at a point I don't remember not drinking on this trip. We are in too deep to stop. With a little heat and humidity, maybe the late morning walk to the train station will help sweat it out. We need our energy for the day, because we are on our way to the Chatuchak Market in the Northeast part of Bangkok.

This weekend-only market is a site to see. Food venders, clothing vendors, merchandise vendors blend in together at this open-air market. Around 200,000 people flock to this market every weekend to take in as many of the deals as possible. The market is casually broken up in sections such that you can hit one area to buy jewelry and the other section, you can buy pets, but they all eventually blend together. It's just another experience in Bangkok that one must see, if they are fortunate enough to be there on the weekend.

We closed down the day at the market and made our way back to the hotel before our last night in Bangkok. Our final nightlife destination for Bangkok was going to be the Sukhumvit area and we were going straight for the most touristy, hedonistic, what-the-hell-are-we-getting-into kind of night.

This was the night that nobody brought a camera. Sacrilegious! We knew the general area to find one of the most touristy night spots, but we didn't know the exact street. We just knew we were looking for Las Vegas condensed onto one little alley that was really only meant for seedy deals under the shadows of discrepancy. Then arrived Soi Cowboy.

If you visit, Thailand, note that soi means side street that branches off of a major road. In this instance, one man started a ladies club in an alley off of a major road. Well, alley is translated differently, so in reality, it is a side street. However, it's small enough to be an alley. Details, details.

This gentleman started the first nightclub on this street and called it, Soi Cowboy, or Side-street Cowboy. Clever, no? Over the years of hosting soldiers and the likes of salivating men who needed to explore their most natural instinct without being conscientious, the alley exploded with new vendors. Every crevice and nook of the street is covered in lights attracting the already attracted. One would say overkill, but at this level of exposure, it's a wonder in itself.

Instantly, you are pawed at like a cat plays with its prey. By the time you make it down to the end of the alley, you have a case for 8-10 charges of sexual assault, indecent exposure, and a close call of battery. The battery only comes into play, if you let them pull you close to the door and then you walk away. That's like taking food away from a baby cub after you just walked into the den with the mother. Bad move.

The explicitness in Thailand for exploiting adult entertainment is overwhelming that you find yourself walking around with your mouth open. Just be careful you don't take it all in.

We eventually found our way back to the corner of the alley to dive into this normal bar with a live band. This was the first instance that I have to say, Thailand has some serious singers and bands. There was amazing ability to cover some of the most recent top 40 songs dynamically and completely. Their talent provokes you to turn around to verify someone is really singing and it isn't the radio playing over the speakers. Little did I know, we would be seeing a lot of that in Phuket. A display of grand portions of incredible talent for entertainment. Now, if they could just get a Disneyland in the country, they could say the entertainment industry is balanced...somewhat.

Full Album of Bangkok

Miguel's Bachelor Party - Day 6 - Bangkok

We woke up with an agenda and little desire to start the day fresh due to the drinking the night before with our favorite alcohol street vendor. We caught the sky tram in all the way to the river, so we could take the water taxi to the major sights. I have to say, the water taxi drivers maneuver these long boats like they are on rails. Boats are difficult to dock and usually require a little time. These guys dock with the same speed of a formula pit crew. It's impressive.

First stop - Wat Arun. Bangkok is filled with many temples and palaces paying homage to rulers, religion, and history. Their love for peaceful rule is coherent and recognizable in most of the detail they chose to affectionately display for their rulers, Buddha, and their religion. Until you see the mural in the Grand Palace that stretches the entire interior wall depicting death, conquering, pillaging, and natural disasters. But for the most part, it's very peaceful looking...

The major attraction of Wat Arun is to climb to the very top of the temple for a view of the city. To give you an idea of this task, imagine the 6th or 7th step at eye level. That is very steep, such that you have to be careful as not to bump your head into the stairs as you lean forward to make the next step. This also means, if you fall, it could mean your last vacation and maybe you'll be lucky enough for them to build a temple in the honor of, "He Who Fell without Grace." Gotta give Bobby props for making this climb while he clung onto the railing wondering, why the hell did I agree to this again?

Once we caught our breath, it was time to venture on over to the other side of the river to visit the Leaning, or Reclining, Buddha and then finally, the Grand Palace.

Second Stop - Leaning Buddha in Wat Pho - This monument did a great job of presenting the grandeur, size, and ominous presence of Buddha. His magnificence reached the barrier of the 30+ ft ceiling as to suggest that his stature touched heaven and earth within one length of his torso. In a mesmerizing state, the room was filled with sounds of melodic music in a natural symposium of wind chimes systematically sounding off with the slightest rhythmic change due to a whimsical shift in wind current. You slow your pace down as you observe more than 120 ft of this gold statue from head to toe, because the sound invites you to take refuge from the world as a means to calm the nerves.

As you round the corner to walk the length again on the backside of Buddha, it becomes apparent that natural rhythm is still natural, but it is not composed by the wind, it's composed by humans dropping coins into metal copper bowls in sequential order, rhythmicially, as they form a walking line to make a wish for each coin they drop in a copper bowl. The collective wishing coins resonated throughout the room echoing the many prayers to Buddha for such things as luck and good health.

The sound of prayers and well wishes filled the room as to request all visitors to listen to their own thoughts, because this is not the area for spoken conversation.

Third stop - Grand Palace - The Grand Palace is an expansive marvel. Within the walls of this governing building and historical site, respect is paid to the history of Thailand. A mural of epic proportion painted in the entire perimeter of the interior of the palace wall tells the stories of triumph and spoils of war and natural disaster inked into the sandstone for all to remember. Inside the courtyard, temples and prayer shrines cover every square inch as to not waste any space in paying homage to the Kings, the history, and Buddha equally.

Our time had come to leave the Grand Palace and our weary bodies needed a break from walking, so we commissioned a tuk tuk to drive us to Khao San Road. We were fortunate in our dealing with the tuk tuk driver. We quickly agreed on 100 baht and no stops to "shop-shop" as we get to Khao San Road. Many of the tuk tuk drivers are paid by these stores with gasoline coupons for bringing people by. The deal was made and our adventurous ride began.

Bobby managed to videotape the whole thing, because it was promised to be a wild ride. The driver sped along the busiest of roads taking every slimmest chance to pass cars, trucks, other tuk tuk drivers. However, his biggest gain in cutting down time was to pass by going into on-coming traffic. Many times, I felt the wind and pressure of cars whizzing past my arm closest to the edge of the open-air passenger cabin. I think I could take tuk tuks all day. I think I want one to drive around at home. It's a wild ride.  Before we knew it, we arrived at our destination, Khao San Road.

Khao San Road is a street filled with bizarres and travelers. Khao San Road is not Thailand, by the way. There isn't much more to say as beyond the fact that you go there to shop for trinkets, clothing, and hang with the many other world travelers making a pit stop along the banana pancake trail.

Now, one of the major points of our visit to Bangkok, it was time to play with the big time vendors. We whet our whistle with the smaller vendors on Khao San Road, but we quickly moved our way towards MBK. MBK is 5 floors chock-full of vendors selling everything imaginable from a 15ftx15ft space. The majority of the items are knock-off representations, but China has done marvels in increasing the quality of these knock-offs. A $75 Ralph Lauren Polo shirt, no problem, $6 dollars for you, my friend. $8,000 Rolex, no problem, $55 dollars for you, my friend.

Sounds great and simple, but the real rub is in the negotiations. They will try to sell you that Polo shirt for $12 dollars or that Rolex for $125. Negotiation is expected and you better play the game, because they are not soft in the heart and they protect their bottom line. So, make sure you dig low to work your way up. This however, is where most of your time is spent when shopping in malls like this. Some people find gambling entertaining, others enjoy working a vendor down from $8 dollars to $6 dollars for a shirt.

Sure, it appears to be ruthless. I mean what is an extra $2 in the states? Why haggle over it? Well, because while you are in Thailand, that extra $2 is 20 minutes for a Thai massage. It could be half the price for a decent sit-down meal. The dollar goes a long way, so take advantage of it.

The major attraction was the negotiation and purchase of watches from Miguel's go-to vendor. As soon as she saw him, she smiled at the devil, cautiously, but welcomingly. We spent the rest of the business hours making a deal. As gracious as they were, they provided us the utmost of customer service and made cocktails with Johnny Walker and Club Soda in a cut off water bottle. 12 ounces of alcohol in a plastic cut off water bottle and fake watches.

After being drained of negotiating and happy with our purchases and experience, it was time to head back and get ready to check out Royal Club Avenue (RCA). RCA is the club scene for locals and tourists. Needless to say, there was a ton to see. We finally witnessed a normal crowd of party goers that we didn't have to question their motives or their sexuality. It was a normal party scene, like any other major city in the world. However, one crowning difference is the table service. People may reserve butler carts (Think of the airplane food and drink carts, but slicker looking) meant for two and loaded with their choice of alcohol. These carts are then lined up side-by-side from front to back of the club. It was a very interesting way to cater to drinkers and a great way to maximize profit. Would this work in the States?

Our cab ride home was interesting and another testament to how one must stay on top of the shady behavior constantly present in Bangkok. We initially paid 62 baht (roughly $2) to get to the club on the meter. However, it was after midnight, so all drivers wanted 150 baht and off the meter. This is still illegal in Thailand, but obviously not monitored closely. Miguel's intuition into the matter was confirmed and that lead to a Q&A with every single cabby waiting in line until we reached the tenth driver who agreed to 100 baht. Yes, we haggled down the line to save $1.50, but it's not a $1.50 we saved. We saved 50 baht and what 50 baht can get you is a lot more than what a $1.50 can get you in the states. Play the game, my friends...Play the game.

Bangkok has a lot going on. So, when you visit, be prepared to learn how to hold on to your money when it is necessary and let go of it, when the moment calls for it. Nevertheless, it will be an experience that you will not forget.

But, we are not done with Bangkok yet. We have one more day of the unpredictable blended with the plan to shop some more.

Full Album of Bangkok