I Need Peace

I need peace. At least that what was told to me, while I begin a new saga in my life in wondering the grandiose notion of whether or not my beliefs, choices, and direction is even supported by something greater. I begin to write this message to the reader with much effort in choosing the appropriate words to even describe what I am after.

I'll never rest in the exploration of what I don't know and don't understand. How does the ancient adage go? True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing. Some days, I feel like a freakin' genius. Well, lately, I feel like not trusting that true knowledge is enough. I realize this can be a dangerous game to lead one's life in this manner. I've chosen throughout my life that the opposite choice to be complacent is even more of a dangerous game. Hence, I seldom see the benefit in relaxing, finding center, or needing peace.

It's not that I disagree with the benefits of peace and relaxation, my trek to bring clarity to life through education and experience shadows everything attached to complacency.

I was fortunate enough to have a simple comment make an effect on me. In my usual dash to immediately evaluate everything that happens in my little world, I was told, "you need peace." It was this particular conversation that allowed me to see that needing peace will bring clarity to my life. It may even accelerate the life quest for understanding who I am. I even feel slightly awkward even saying it outloud. As if I should be fit for a straight jacket. However, it just takes a moment that can shake the foundation of who you are.

Realization unfolds that the foundation isn't being questioned. How could it be, because it doesn't exist. Your beliefs are being violently tested to stand on their own in what should be a hurricane of proportions, but really is just a strong enough wind. A wind that exposes the delicate nature of the roots of your beliefs.

I now see true knowledge as an opportunity not to accept the lack of knowing, but providing clarity of the need to learn more. It just doesn't hurt to do it in a peaceful manner.